I'm in sixth year, which means right now I'm doing a hell of a lot of thinking about the future.
I have so many things going round in my head about what I want to do, where I want to be, what everybody else wants of me, why I want to do what I want to do... the list goes on and on. I just feel that right here, what's happening to me right now, is so important. I mean, never has one little decision made such an effect on EVERYTHING I want to do. What I choose now will determine how the rest of my life pans out, and it's a little bit daunting.
I've got Universities. And while on one hand, I feel great and on top of the world because I got 5 unconditionals which means all the slogging away last year was worth it, it still freaks me out a bit. Because now, I have five places to choose from. And yes, they're all for the same subject, but that's five different places, which means that my life could pan out five different ways. I guess I thought that if I only heard from one or two places back in a positive way, then that would be less of a decision. Two paths to choose, two possible ways my future could go. And don't get me wrong, five is good. And I think I know what I'm going to do with that, so really it's not too bad.
But then that brings me on to what happens after that. When I leave Uni in four or five years time, with a degree (hopefully) in my hand, what am I going to do with it? I'm doing English; I love it, everything about it. I love how reading can transport you to somewhere else, anywhere else you want, and I love what it can get you talking about, how it can make you feel and think. But I'm not completely sure what I'd want to do with it. Recently I've been thinking about teaching, however. I've had two or three teachers in my time who have just been so good and brilliant at what they do, and I think they've inspired me to do the same. I want to make people enjoy the subject, and be involved and love it. But as much as I'd like to that, I need to think. I need to realise that teaching's not looking good for graduates recently. Nine out of ten can't find employment. I've already had to realise that my dream of working in musical theatre isn't a likely one. So does that mean there more realistic one of being an english teacher isn;t going to work either? All I can do is wait until I'm done and see what the world's like in five years time (a la Noah and the Whale)
And then I've got everything else to think about too, but that's all a bit nicer. Because when I think about who I could be with in five, ten years, when I'll marry, where I'll live, what my house will be like, it make sme smile. It makes me happy because I like that picture in my head, I like what I see, and I'd really really want it to happen. But for now, I am happy with stuff in the more personal side of things. I guess that when I stop thinking about Uni and work future, I am very happy thinking about the immediate future and everything that will bring.